Refreshing Reminicense

FRESH air.  I did not realize how long it's been since I had a nice inhale of nitrogen filled freshness! My morning routine began with wobbling across the house to let Molly, our Catahoula, out this morning.  My sleepy eyes grew wide, as my scalp and toes felt tingled by the sensation of a cool breeze. A full gray sky promises it to stay this way for the rest of the day, but in Texas, in Corpus Christi, one should not make such assumptions so quickly.  Despite of how the day will end, this refreshing surprise, is a beautiful start.  My heart feels light and filled with promise. The windows are open now, the air is flowing, and I can feel the air in the house shifting.  Much much needed I will say.  All this really sets the tone for me to twinge a bit as my mind flashes through many moments down memory lane through all the times that promising change has been on the horizon. You know that moment where you are a child again, in exploration mode, facing the unknown, open and excited to learn and understand, it's no surprise that such a feeling creates magical state of perception.  Before, this feeling came through times of instability, through perseverance, through turmoil, through leaving, detaching, all for nothingness, for expansiveness of being. I was young, fast, and impulsive, and dry sponges absorb the most moisture much quicker you could say.  Presently, it comes through sitting and enjoying the moment, through embracing my family, going for walks and playing with Molly, crafting, and most of all through working in my growing garden.  I am young still, but now slower, steadier, more balanced, and there is a great sense of empowerment that accompanies that.  Entering this refreshing fall with cooler winds and refreshing rain, I am ready to soak in all the beautiful change that has occurred this year.  It's nice to see that in a year that began with the resolution to find balance I cross the first half with my toes squishing delightfully in the mud, while still reaching up to the farthest stars, all while my wonderful little (and growing) family live, love, and laugh with me.

I once sat and watched a sunrise after a long run and deeply meditated on what journey would be the best for a clear mind, an open heart, and the perception of a newborn.  What came was not to climb a holy mountain, or become some sort of guru, but to live the normal life, the daily life, fully.  I admit to being a little puzzled, but six years later, I could not have a better answer.  The trials of learning to love one person fully, the challenges of motherhood, and facing my fear of stability, have inspired a growth I could of never imagined for myself. In the way my heart has grown, the wisdom my being has gained, the understanding that reshapes my mind daily, I can see a happy old lady a ways down the road, sitting on a porch, surrounded by a over grown edible garden, watching her grandchildren play, holding the hand of her life partner, with a serene, satisfied smile on her face.

Today I end with a poem.  To all of you who take the time to listen to what this little seed's heart has to say, I send my most sincere dose of gratitude.  Make today wonderful.  :-)

Once, some time ago, a seed,
Staring at the bright stars
Dreamed to shine
Like the diamonds that sparkled
On the expansive black canopy above

Inspired, the seed,
Began to dig the rich soil
For purpose
For understanding
Hoping in black gold to find wisdom

The seed
Sitting in the dark after a long day of digging
Began to birth a plant inside.

As it dried and withered
The plant filled it's being
Broke its shell and
Transformed it forever

The roots continued to dig deep,
thirsty for wisdom and guidance.

The stem reached upward,
still dreaming of beyond.

The leaves began to appear,
at every node of growth.

The branches stretched out,
reaching for life lessons.

How it is life cycles in it's changing
seasons?
How does life appear in the brew of
all these natural forces?

The new, transformed, little seedling,
pondered, grew, and stretched
again, and again.
Digging deeper and Reaching higher
Over and over,
again and again...

Until one day,
It rained!
It shined!

And as it danced with the wind,
soaked up the rain,
and felt the sun,
the plant felt the universe
light up its heart.

Filled within with the understanding
It had for so long
dug, hoped, and reached for,
the plant shined vibrantly
in the most exquisite green.

In this state of happiness
it bloomed a magnificent pink and purple flower
And called itself
A Unicorn.