Talking Soul Waking Heart

As the wave rolls in and touches my toes,

an ancient part of me awakes from a deep slumber.

The cold tingling desire that arises within my heart is once again familiar.

Needing no more

I dive in and embrace my own depth

Then I come up and and embrace my own freedom.

My soul once again speaks through a pen

My heart once again clearly on paper

Oh Joy!

I float in a sea of happiness...

A simple but treasured delight has been returned to me

as the sun rises after a very long night.

What delight!

What do you see?

Laying down, I observe the tree branches sway back and forth as the afternoon breeze rolls in. The leaves change to different tones of green, from dark to bright lime, and I am mesmerized by this moment. Simple beauty constantly around to embrace. My backyard a candy land for my eyes, should they take the time to see it as so.

I reach for a fallen leaf and put it up to the sun. After a long stare, the fine veins branching out of the main veins begin to appear. A maze. The maze of life appears on this leaf, if I take the time to see it. I see the tree in the leaf, drawn in detail within the veins. I see rows of trees drawn in expanding perspective. To multiply, to expand and grow. To live. It's all there, when the mind is quiet enough to see it.

I grab a sketch pad and begin to draw this detailed maze I see. Taking the time to draw every tiny vein quickly becomes a rigorous endeavor. The mind insists on taking short cuts, on filling in, rather than drawing what is really there. I am forced to stop many times to keep my mind in check, to make sure I am consciously choosing the the leaf I see, rather than the leaf mind insists on drawing.

A mirror to life after realization. When a conscious choice has been made to see truth, mind may not agree. Mind is geared to create short cuts, fill in gaps rather than leave them unknown and allow all to slowly unfold and appear. The constant reminder, the mantra, is to see beyond mind, to see beyond personal interest, and to find that place where simple sight can be enjoyed, if but for a moment.

Knowledge vs. Wisdom

One path. Two ways to walk the road. A fork in perception.

Wisdom enters the body differently than knowledge.

Wisdom comes through the humble understanding, that the entity is the student. The entity is allowing information to come through to receive gained understanding of the conscious connection to the experienced existence.

Knowledge is a more selfish act..one of egoic intentions. It is to desire to obtaining information for personal gain. To get above and in control of what is existence.

Wisdom feels like it is being ingrained into your depth, woven in. The understanding being revealed, with deep purpose and substance.

Knowledge feels like a chase where we are never quite fast enough, to what always feels is right under our nose.

It is.

If we wisened up...we'd know. :-)

Dear Consciousness

I see your many faces, I endure your many phases, each one in every way, those pleasant and those not so pleasant. All surprise and humble me. Me, this entity, no more than a slice in a grain of sand in the grand scope of things. When you first rang a bell in my heart, I did not know how small I was, I could not conceive I was nothing, nothing at all. Rattled I sought to understand. What made it so difficult was how deluded we all became the more you tuned in. All was changing, and I felt there was no turning back.

When we finally met..it was surreal..and is now the most real it's ever felt. You're never gone away, and we are never apart. Ingrained, woven in the the fabric of my being, pulsating, all the time. And though I am still here, it's different. I am free. Free of the doubt, just trying to figure out the mechanics.

"Lift not the painted veil which those who live"

Lift not the painted veil which those who live

Call Life: though unreal shapes be pictured there,

And it but mimic all we would believe

With colours idly spread, - behind, lurk Fear

And Hope, twin Destinies; who ever weave

Their shadows, o'er the chasm, sightless and drear.

I knew one who had lifted it - he sought,

For his lost heart was tender, things to love,

But found them not, alas! nor was there aught

The world contains, the which he could approve.

Though the unheeding many he did move,

A splendour among shadows, a bright blog

Upon this gloomy scene, a Spirit that strove

For truth, and like the Preacher found it not

By Percy Bysshe Shelley

Jump

I remember being young and staring up at the damn thing. Waves of nervousness and excitement lurked around me as family and friends lined up against the fence to watch a buddy or relative take the dive. I remember the envy my heart would feel for those who were free enough, brave enough. Strapped, hopefully tightly enough, without any guarantee, they began to rise inside the crate. I would tell myself a million excuses why it was not reasonable to do it. I justified being on the side lines, not being willing to live on the edge just yet. When they jumped and screamed horror, then joy and estatic release, I promised myself, one day, that was going to be me. It never made sense, and for years I'd never had the guts to, but, 'one day,' kept the door open just enough...

Now...I've done it.

I was visiting a friend from my hometown, and she came up with the idea. She was seeking a declaration of independence of some sort and wanted someone to come along. Nothing inside of me said no. Nothing in me jumped or screamed excitement. When we finally got to the Island where the bungee jumping was located, we stared at the tall crate, with no one inside, or lined up to be next. My heart beat fast, my mind mumbled some quick nonsense, but deep inside, I felt steady.

As I was getting strapped for the jump, I continued to observe my body, and the layers of reaction occurring. I could see, vividly, that if I attached to the emotions, gave a thought too much power, this would not happen. When I walked into the crate and it began to rise, the mind began to scream. Sensory perception was at a heightened state. When the crate rose to full height I looked around at the hotels, the lights, the pitch black sea, and starry skies. The guy behind me holding me then said: "I am going to open the clip and let you go. All you have to do is point your hands in front of you and follow them down. Don't think. Just Go." And here the hesitation and emotions were so explosive, I felt I was about to burst. I motioned to put my hands in front of me, as my mind resisted loundly, and followed them all the way down....

I began to fall. In this split second, the beauty of releasing myself from the grips of mind, sent a incredible amount of euphoria down my entire body. Release. It was full release. And after that my body jerked around following an oversized elastic rubber band around. It mirrored the surrender in the shift, so closely, so acutely. I just let go.

I wanted to fall longer. I wished there was no straps holding me. That too...mirrored the shift, since..it seemed right when I was breaking through, I was getting pulled back.

It was funny to think that while people do this temporarily, for a adrenal rush, or a temporary high...this is the way I'd been living my life.

Not all of life, if there is any intention for it to lived for an extended period of time, can be lived this way. But when the opportunity arises...I know not to think..and just jump.

Right now, is one of those moments. Time to dive out of the crate, and let myself fall.

Four Years

Four Years Today.

Non believer Paradise

The shift, on this end, had somehow always managed to get tainted with the label 'spiritual'. I've read authors trying to open spiritual seekers into 'seeing' or spiritual teachers 'teaching' students about spiritual enlightenment, that resembled the shift experienced, but something always felt incredibly off about their methods.

Well, after years of hearing of other's spiritual dissonance, I've decided to try an Atheist group. Never have I encountered more people in group receptive to the idea of perception before mind, thought, and emotion. I realized it had to do with the fact that there was no belief system to dismantle for them to 'get it'. They had the foundation of being the strict observers of what is front of them, right here right now.

My mind speaks freely around them, without having to mingle around spiritual jargon. It is broken down into a scientific theory of personal experience, making it more tangible than ever. And best of all, there is no fight of beliefs, because it's about facing and discussing the facts.

I am in heaven.

So...you authors slamming spiritual seekers....you've been wasting your time talking to the wrong ears. Let the spiritual people seek what they wish. It is in the end their choice, and are free to apply their will into such delusions.

I know there are the crazies..there are in every group..but they do not speak for the majority of the Atheist community.

As Richard Dawkin's so eloquently put it "You are atheist to so many gods, why not just go one more?'

Until you continue to feed the idea that you are controlled by something else you are not going to take responsibility for your self.

Paleolithic Observer

'Two Bison" reliefs in a cave at Le Tuc d'Audobert, France

In the Paleolithic Age, mankind consisted of nomadic hunters, solely focused on survival. No day was guaranteed living in the wilderness during the Ice Age. With harsh climates and bigger predators, the natural survival instinct was in high gear. For a long time, historians, scholars, and archeologist have carried the agreement that because such times were more primitive technologically, and lacked systems that prove intelligence, like writing, or mathematics, the peoples of the era, must have been more primitive than us as well.

As I sit in Art History class, and stare at slides of Paleolithic Art for several minutes at a time, I see the commonalities. A line drawing in profile view, always in a stance that shows four legs, one big eye, and important details unique to subject being represented on a rock wall.

And then we arrive to the slide above. Not a line drawing, but a working of clay, that was mounted not on a flat wall, but a cave's rocky surface. The three dimensional relief sculpture, is a demonstration of intelligence, imagination, and ingenious crafting, for such clay and tools were not bought at an art and crafts store.

What I see in these slides, is not a primitive mind, but a keen observer. An observer whose focus is to portray what is. Such 'primal' conditions, seem to be an ideal set of conditions for heightened awareness. The mind has enough to keep it occupied with the essentials of daily life, to allow the inner workings to unfold and flow naturally.

When I see each slide pass, the affirmations of their art is clear.

'what is.'

No deviation. No addition. Just constant sketches of the animals that were essential to their survival.

So, what drove man, to make a representational image of what he recognized?

'I can see.'

The glimpses of early self awareness, perhaps?

Recognition comes from observation, which makes way, for representation.

Let's take ourselves back here for a moment. Grab a piece of paper, and draw what is in front of you. Observe your mind, your thoughts, and how it all unfolds. Do it in one strong continuous line.

What pops up? How does it all flow? What kind of observer comes out of you?

In terms of daily life, what are we observing? how are we digesting such observations?

More importantly, what are we representing? Our methods of representation have expanded. Where does our energy hone in? How much does it become a part of who we are?

Have we forgotten such an important milestone in awareness in our highly mentally advanced society?

Eggplant Paradox

So I was making some Baba Ghanoush and Maya, my two year old, came in looked at the eggplant I was peeling and asked me, "Mommy, what's that?" I said, "Oh, it's an eggplant honey." She looked for it a bit more and said, 'Eggplant??'. It made me look at the eggplant and laugh. 'I don't get it either baby. And that's why life is beyond words.' ...I know she heard me in there somewhere, because she got bright, laughed, and went right back to running around and LIVING.

Life is beyond words, beyond thoughts, emotions, and concepts. We we see this, feel this, live this, experience this, we get past surface projection and finally get a glimpse of the whole picture.

Raptitude

I was forwarded this blog, and so far very good. Check it:

http://www.raptitude.com/