Fiddling, Meddling, with muddy toes and shoes...

I got both the urge and the courage to go for a run today. 'Just drop everything and do it,' arose within. My heart beat faster as slight hesitation arose as I stared at a pile of laundry. It was clear. I grabbed my tennis shoes and put them on. As I tried to put Pandora on the Ipod, 'Hard Sun' by Eddie Vedder from the Into the Wild album kept popping up. Great to run to. Lyrics hit just right, as I took off. What began as a run became a release of pent up energy. I could feel my self bursting out with every step.

I started the run with 'Setting Forth' which lyrics are as follows:

Being, no concern
Point of no return
Go forward and reverse
This I will recall
Yeah, every time I fall

Keep setting forth in the universe
Keep setting forth in the universe

Out here realigned
A planet out of sight
On nature drunk and high

Keep...
Keep...

ohhhhhh...

Breathe. Release. Sink into the flow. "Go to an Open Field," arises. That sounds nice, but where? There's the coast, but that's heavy with Traffic. 'Keep Going'. Ok..so the run continues, and as I continue down the fancy suburb, and as I reach a stop sign, I remember accross the street, in the neighborhood on the other side is a open field next to a school. Awesome.

The body feels heavier with every step. I am out of shape. I know. I am not this body, but this body is still feeling pretty damn heavy. The concrete seems to pound back with every step, and I long for my feet to be free of these shoes, to feel mud and grass under and in between my toes. It's pretty steamy weather here. Lot's of rainy days before, and lots of heat today. Running in a sauna. "Even if the body is heavy, you are not."

OK...I'm still going.

I see the field. I slow down, take deeper breathes and stare. It's perfect. What I would give to take off my shoes, and it started to rain. 'Even if the IPOD, gets wet?' Destroy the IPOD, I want it to be just you and me. As I'm crossing the street, it starts to rain. I start laughing, and start to run.

I ran toward the bench, sat down and started to take off my shoes. Where could I put my shoes, IPOD and keys? 'I thought you wanted them destroyed?' arose. I feel slightly sheepish. On second thought, neither are mine. If it were mine, it would be totally different. It stops raining.

I walk towards one of the school buildings, lay my shoes, keys, and IPOD, by my side. I feel the concrete on my bum. Familiarity. I step into the grass, feel the mud, sink into it. I feel alive. Connected. I get up and take slow steps. The lower abdomen begins to cramp. I'm starting to feel pain. 'Really? There is no pain.' But...I..

I look down, smirking, feeling the teasing feeling of disbelief. The pain is gone. 'Sit Sharon, feel me.' I choose a place to lay down. I feel the life coming from the ground, release myself into it. My eyes are closed, the sky is so bright.

'So bright huh? Yes, it does take some time to adjust to the light. But that is all it is. An adjustment. Adjust. '

I stare at the brightness with my eyes closed. I feel the adjusting occurring. Then the warmth. It begins to penetrate my face. 'Allow'. Allow. Bright blinding warmth. Illumination. It runs through from head to toe. Bright warmth.

I feel a bug. I jump. 'Ha! so easily disturbed!' I laugh with. Yes. Distractions are easy to fall into. 'If you trusted, and allowed the bugs to arise, they would not bite.' Yeah. I'm sure. I look down at the ground. Red Ants start to pop up. A lot of them. I get up. 'Ha!' Yeah. I don't feel like getting bit today. 'You wouldn't'. Yeap...I'm walking away. I'm not.

Concrete. Familiarity. I look at my shoes, keys and IPOD. I look out towards the field. Got to walk the walk Sharon. Take a walk for a every word that comes through. It keeps you humble. I grab my shoes, keys, and IPOD and start walking to a puddle near by. I rinse my feet and put my shoes back on. and it hits:

Before the Shift, I always wore my shoes. With the Shift, I went barefoot. After the Shift, I can wear the shoes, without feeling disconnected. Nothing is ever disconnected. Know that. I tie my shoe laces. I start to walk. 'Still feel me huh?' Yeap, more clearly now, with every step.

'Never disconnected. You can choose to perceive disconnectedness, but you never are. Run, feel that.' I run. I feel it.