Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Perfect Storm


The dismantling of false self can be compared to a hurricane storm. It brews in the right conditions in life and it hits the right places at the right time in your story. It takes your whole idea of reality for a spin. It turns your current reality concept upside down. Your perception is completely chaotic as every bit of everything you ever held on to is being washed away. And right when you think it could not get worse, feel convinced to be nothing more than a wet noddle at the hands of the Universe...you surrender. It's bigger than you could ever manage to take in, and you've gone too far to rationalize your self out it, so you... just... give.. in.

Full release.
You Let Go.

As the white flag waves your full surrender, the Eye of Calm pushes through. You are detached from the chaos. The storm goes silent. You are nothing. You see nothing. Such is the emptiness required to regain clarity. The Sight arises when you surrender your old sight of the world.

When the storm returns, as it's part of the cycle for it to do so, you test out your new vision. Everything externally may appear to be the same, better, or worse, yet from inside out, things are completely different. Point specifically, it shifts in terms of how the perception of the external is taken in. New eyes. New life.

Every disruption in life, every time we feel the rug pulled from under our feet, as inconvenient as it may initially seem, is a fated disturbance to your existence. It is the opportunity to assess your reality, test it, break away from it. When you feel the crack, simply let the broken pieces fall away. Whatever aspect of your life is falling apart, let it. Let go of your expectation and desires, and expect a huge hole and a feeling of loss.

This willingness, to push through the cracks of your hardened identity is the door. No spiritual knowledge or interest needed. You can be anywhere, at anytime, in your life. Because what is needed is the willingness to step into the unknown. Leave your suitcase of knowledge behind.


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Leave the Magnificence Untouched



When I take walks by myself, I deeply enjoy watching all the characters fall away. I am no longer a mother or a wife, a friend or enemy. I forget I am a woman. I forget I am called human. With every step, with every breathe, I release until, I am no longer limited. I am expansive, infinite. I am released even from the conscious awareness that is watching, bearing witness. What I am, cannot be named, labeled or contained. I stop to look at a flower. Without thought or interference, I directly experience it's magnificence, it's love, it's pure being. I experience the flower within. It's blossoming, is fearless. As I walk, I blossom, and I take nature's courage home with me. As I walk through the door, I am a mother that deeply embraces her child. My heart pours into hers the joy, the freedom, that comes from a quiet walk into her responsive open heart. What a sponge she is. I am a wife, as I kiss my husband deeply, and embrace him in gratitude for his understanding. I come home, a teacher, and a student. I am ready to share the presence without name, as I learn from the presence of all I encounter and their unfolding. Taking off who you are in exchange for nothingness, is like being barefoot. No longer constricted to the mold, fit, or height of a shoe. Freedom. We were meant to be free.

ID

I'm 36 years old now. I am officially raising a teenage daughter. I am divorced. I'm a college drop out. I've been heart broken...